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When an adult child moves back home, it can be difficult to make the new living arrangement work. Read on for tips on making a smoother transition for all.

It used to be that children grew up, went to college, got a job, started a family and then only came home to visit with the grandchildren.

Ah, those were the days ...

Today more college graduates have larger student loan payments than previous generations, and salaries are not keeping up with inflation. As the cost of housing rises and more education is required to become self sufficient, both parents and children are rethinking their choices.

Boomerang adults (adult children who move back home) are not unique, even among wealthier families. In 2005, 22 million adult children in the United States were living with their parents, something much more indicative of larger societal influences than personal failure.

In many cultures multi-generational households are normal and research shows this trend in our modern society might actually build stronger family bonds. How many adults do you know who wish they had a better relationship with their parents?

More often than not, both parties in boomerang situations are happy with the arrangement. The question then becomes, if you choose this living arrangement, what steps can you take as a family to create the happiest household?

1. Don't worry about what the neighbors think.
When an adult child returns home due to economic pressures (or other reasons), the first thing to do is to let go of the stigma. The old model of the classic American family does not exist for you. Deciding to have an extended family household may not only be the smartest financial move you make, but it may be one of the most personally rewarding experiences for all parties concerned.

2. Recognize that this is a choice -- not a duty -- for all parties involved. Parents who choose to allow adult children into their households feel very different than those who do so out of mere obligation and vice versa. Children who recognize this as a choice that both parties have made for a mutual benefit come to the table with greater understanding and gratitude. This attitude helps each party involved to respect the values of the other and fosters a common goal.

3. Break up previous parent/child patterns to help with the transition. Moving a child's room to a new place in the house is one possibility. Dividing up household chores where the adult child cooks instead of a parent is another example that helps foster the recognition of the change in the relationship.

4. Take an inventory of talents and dreams to facilitate win- win situations.
One of the young people that entered our household was my daughter's significant other, and I didn't know him very well. I needed to learn about his abilities and goals as a new member of the household. A talent inventory can also help a parent learn about talents or needs their child might have that have been previously unknown to them. We all grow and change. If we want our children to respect us as adults, we need to give them the same consideration.

5. Try to address the particular needs and schedule of each member of the household.
For example, a family member that works nights would not be the best candidate for early morning chores, yet he might be the perfect one to take the family dog for a walk in the evenings. Some families use weekly meetings to plan out the week, adjust expectations or address situations as they arise. The important thing is to find what works for you and to keep the lines of communication open.

6. When in doubt, take turns.
Of course, there will always be those chores that no one seems to want. Best advice? Take turns. Not only does this help everyone understand the responsibility at hand, but it is a key factor to fostering new dynamics in the relationship. You are all here by choice with a common goal of opportunity for each individual; and if you remember that, it changes the whole dynamic. There is nothing more rewarding than getting a phone call from an adult child that says, "I'm at the grocery store, do we need any milk?"

Karen Walasek is a freelance writer who lives on a retreat in Southern Tennessee with her husband and three younger adults.

For more information on Boomerang living arrangements read Boomerang Nation: How to Survive Living with Your Parents ... the Second Time Around by Elina Furman and The Boomerang Age: Transitions to Adulthood in Families by Barbara Mitchell.