July 30, 2010
Happily Ever After: The Sexy Years
Intimacy in the bedroom is good for the heart both figuratively and literally.
When most young people think about boomers having sex … scratch that. Most millennials don't want to think about the sex lives of their boomer parents at all. It's preferable, perhaps, for them to imagine that the last time their parents did the deed, the youngest child in the family was conceived. Of course, that probably wasn't the case, but it's often assumed that at some point just beyond midlife, every great romance becomes chaste. Well, think again.
Everybody's doing it
Researchers Stacy Lindau and Edward Laumann found that many men and women remained sexually active well into their seventies and eighties. They also found that people in good health enjoyed the most active sex lives — or that the people who were having the most sex were also in good shape.
A lasting afterglow
"While we see a strong connection between being in good health and being sexually active, we don't know what comes first," said Lindau, Assistant Professor of Obstetrics & Gynecology at the University of Chicago, and lead author of the study. "Sexual functioning requires physical functioning. Having said that, there is good evidence that married people as a group are healthier. Being in a positive relationship is good for health. We don't fully understand how, but it's clear that relationships get under the skin to promote wellbeing."
Other studies have found that regular sexual activity can boost cardiovascular health, release stress, ward off depression, keep bodies flexible, and even keep the prostrate functioning well. The emotional benefits may be even greater. "Women engaged in positive sexual relationships talk about benefiting in a variety of ways," noted Lindau. "They'll say things like, ‘Sexuality keeps me youthful, keeps me in touch with my body.' Others talk about the emotional closeness with their partners, the importance of feeling bonded with someone."
Still loving what we saw so long ago
That bond may be key to longevity and quality of life. While the very thought of older people having sex runs counter to the messages our youth-obsessed media promotes, everyone likes the idea of happily-ever-after. And while growing old together means watching each other's youth and beauty fade, it also doesn't — not exactly. "Very often, older people will say that the image in the mirror doesn't match the idea they have of themselves — that there's an older person looking back at them," says Lindau. "Just as people envision themselves as younger than they actually appear, people who grow old with their partners also see their partner as younger — they see the person with whom they fell in love all those years ago. The mind's eye can play a little trick on us."
How's that for romance?
Lindau says that maintaining a loving relationship and an exciting sex life may or may not help people live longer, but it may very well help people live better. And ultimately, isn't that what we want for all of us?
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